Helpless, restless, senseless. It’s really going down. Wth man! I tried to put some sense into my head but I just could not put all the broken pieces back to where it belonged. It’s damn distressing having to think about it again and again. Every woman would be pleased when a man tells u how u made him feel so complete and that u’re the one he wants to spend his life with. And I guess breaking his heart is definitely the last thing you would wanna do. It’s a total confusion when you got that not from just one person. Love, at times is a cruel thing. Rather a fickle thing. It’s all about getting hurt and recovers and it goes on and on, but we got to think on a brighter side too, it will for sure turn out great when there’s no distraction and when u play your role as bf/gf/wifey/hubby. When you know what’s wrong and you know you should not be doing what u’re not supposed to. By giving and sharing and everything else, for sure it will be a ‘happily ever after’ romance, but, we got to face reality, nothing is perfect. It may happen though. When you are deeply in love, heartbreak can be traumatic. People suffering from heartbreak find their body and mind reacting strangely even in normal situations. They experience mood swings. And heartbreak songs make them weep uncontrollably. And most people say, “If you are going through a period of heartbreak, you must accept the fact that life goes on and so must you. Face those feelings of rejection and anger by acknowledging them, dealing with them, and then achieving closure. The most important thing is to get in touch with reality”. I know it’s hard for you. So do I. The feeling of uncertainty whether or not am I doing the right thing is lingering around in my mind every single min. Knowing the fact the love you are giving, your love amazes me... But why? Why am I not able to think?? I kept thinking day in and out but why is it so knotty? I don't know what more to say, but I am sorry. You know I have been hurt before, and it all seemed so wrong. I never meant to break your heart and if I could change what happened I know I would. I never meant to hurt you, and for the many times, I’ve said, I am sorry. Keep your head high, my dear and never let it fall. Though I broke my promise and your trust but you love me still and your unconditional love is so giving and yet you want me still. I'm just so touched for everything dear. Just one thing, never fear that I will forget you because there’s always a place for you in my tiny heart. I know it must mean little to swear never. But believe me, If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.
Friday, March 28
Thursday, March 27
Omg. Omg. Omg. The Zzzzzz monster is attacking real real bad. For the past hour I’m struggling to open my eyes. Loads of stuff to start rolling but damn, I’m so heavy-eyed. 4 hours a sleep daily is lunatic. How I wish I’m snuggling on my bed now.
Tuesday, March 25
It’s harder than I thought it wud be. I’m shutting myself from u n u. I know it’s tough for all of us now. But I guess this wud be the best way for me to understand my feelings for u, w/o having the pressure from both sides. I wonder why love is such a thing that complicates our hearts when we know we should/should not be together. Sometimes, True love is found in a short period of time and instantly, u felt IT. U just want to be with that One person but somehow u can’t. At another point, where r’ship has been going strong for a long time but at a certain point, everything seems so vague. It’s a big blow for the one who is standing strong but eventually it came crumbling down. I have to admit that the r’ship won’t be falling apart if BOTH parties are holding on so strong but it’s so unpredictable when u caught urself in a situation where u simply fall in love with someone u thought that u should have met ages ago. But wait. U still do love the one who has been standing there for u for the many years ago and it’s way way too hard to end it. After all the ups and down and all those memories together, I felt it’s wrong to dump all that behind. It’s not a good thing to be feeling all of these now. It’s breaking me up. It really does. It’s been dragging way too long and I’m causing great stress on all of us now. It crossed my mind that I would never ever could have let this happened. But, life/love is so unpredictable. Guess it’s all fated. I want to just love one person. Please let it happen. 
Wednesday, March 19
Some people, are just so preposterous. It’s a surprising fall out that I wud nvr have thought it wud happened, but it did. I questioned myself from time to time but I am still clueless to this very day. Am I being ignorant? I doubt so. Or maybe I was. But come on, we are working ppl for goodness sake. Apart from work, we may have other things on our head every single sec/min/hour/day. But If you ASSUMED I am being ignorant and led this to have happened, I think you are just being inconsiderate here. Whatever it may be, I bet you are being unfair here. I dunno if I shud be feeling sad or angry but it’s definitely something I can’t really express. I thought I shud just shrug it off my shoulder and somehow someday, I’ll find the answer.
Friday, March 7
I’m crying so bad now. Really really bad. Looking at the roses and the 2 tiny bear which represents you n me…and by reading your card & letter, I just couldn’t hold back my tears any longer. Oh my! Why am I faced with this emotional struggle? Should I turn up?
Monday, March 3
"tell him you hope tat he's the one you end up wif..
but the other guy has made you fall in love..."
Ouch. that really hurt big time.
Is this the end of everything that we've build so far. It was so strong, a much dedicated relationship and yet i let it break apart. Everything seems so blur from every angle now. How i wished it didnt't started, how i wished i never knew wat love was. Love is fickle thing, i guess. Unpredictable. I wanted it to be the way it is now but i wonder why am i so affected. I hope i will come to a conclusion fast enough and be realistic with the decisions i'm gonna make. I dun wanna break 2 hearts, but it seems that i'm doing it now. I'm so afraid of making the call now. i dun wanna prolong this dilemma anymore..it's really eating the hell of out me! It's like killing me softly...
soon, i hope, the right choice will be made.
but the other guy has made you fall in love..."
Ouch. that really hurt big time.
Is this the end of everything that we've build so far. It was so strong, a much dedicated relationship and yet i let it break apart. Everything seems so blur from every angle now. How i wished it didnt't started, how i wished i never knew wat love was. Love is fickle thing, i guess. Unpredictable. I wanted it to be the way it is now but i wonder why am i so affected. I hope i will come to a conclusion fast enough and be realistic with the decisions i'm gonna make. I dun wanna break 2 hearts, but it seems that i'm doing it now. I'm so afraid of making the call now. i dun wanna prolong this dilemma anymore..it's really eating the hell of out me! It's like killing me softly...
soon, i hope, the right choice will be made.
<
.unique..undecisive..unprecdictable. makes who I am.
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